Heidi Viars

The list I held in my hand grew longer with each moment I sat in the car.

I was about to walk into the store and tried to think of anything that did not make it on the list.

I sensed anxiety trying to make its way up from my stomach into my heart as I sat and compared the list with the money in my wallet.

Then, I remembered to pray.

I turned the list around.

A prayer made its way from my pen

onto the blank space on the back of the list.

Another list grew

-A list of loved people in my life whom I hadn’t prayed for as I should have

-A list of hurts and pains

-A list of compassion and love

-A list of things that mattered

The back of the list became suddenly the front of the list.

A deep awareness of God’s presence moved in.

Tears blurred my vision to the stuff that did not matter.

*

“Father,

forgive me for running after the things I can’t take with me.

Forgive me for putting things in the front and people in the back.

Help me to turn it around. You ask me to care as Jesus did.

Help me to see people today, not the things I think I need.

Continue to blur my vision to things with tears of compassion for people.”