Guilty

 

aba september 2012 013The light was red. I slowly pulled into the left turn lane to wait for the light to change.  I noticed a State Patrol car in front of me. A good feeling overcame me. I had a guilt-free conscience since my registration was up to date, I had not been speeding, and my lights all worked (and since I had been an outstanding citizen).

The light turned green and I followed the trooper as we both turned left. He however turned to the far right lane to let me pass. I thought of the poor fella who was going to get pulled over. Then I noticed his lights coming on behind me. They were for me.

When pulled over, I quickly peeked over my shoulder and noticed my offense: my seatbelt hung loosely at my side. While the kind officer walked up, I slowly and inconspicuously (so I thought) pulled my belt and clicked it in.

“Good day, Ma’m! I am glad you noticed that you hadn’t been buckled! May I see your license and proof of insurance?” He said with a kind smile.

He returned briefly to his vehicle and came back with my ten-dollar ticket in hand. I thanked him for reminding me and wished him a great day.

Since I am a (fairly) good citizen, I went immediately to the courthouse to pay my fine. The clerk commended me and said that she hadn’t seen a ticked paid that speedily. I just told her I wanted to forget about it as fast as I could. Thinking that with paying quickly the sick feeling in my stomach would go away.

When I sat back in my car I buckled in (since I am a citizen who tries to follow the law). Suddenly an extremely grateful thought overwhelmed my heart,

“Thank you God, for taking care of all my offenses.
While I think I am innocent, there is always something that makes me guilty.
I could never pay the fines I owe you for my sins.
THANK YOU FOR JESUS, WHO PAID FOR IT ALL ON THE CROSS!
Lord, keep me from the pride that prevents me from seeing my dire need for Jesus.”

aba september 2012 041

For the wages of sin is death,
but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 6:23

About Heidi Viars

“If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth ...” ― C.S. Lewis ..... In my pursuit of self, I found utter darkness. In my pursuit of truth, I found Jesus, who dispelled the darkness by His forgiveness. Now I follow Him and try to understand Him better. I am a wife, mother of 6, blogger and love taking photographs of sunrises.
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9 Responses to Guilty

  1. Nancy Ruegg says:

    What a graphic reminder your story presents. And your prayer at the end speaks such truth, Heidi: “While I think I am innocent, there is always something that makes me guilty. I could never pay the fines I owe you for my sins.”

    Praise you, Jesus, for paying all of my debt on the cross! (And bless Heidi for ministering to us so powerfully!)

    • Heidi Viars says:

      You know, Nancy, I am pretty messed up without Jesus. When my kids came home yesterday, I told them that mom got a “spanking” (they were squealing with excitement). The Lord has a way teaching stubborn hearts 🙂

  2. Not buckling your seat belt? I would have never taken you for a rebel, Heidi.
    Great analogy. We are never “good enough,” we’ll always need Christ’s righteousness to cover us.

    • Heidi Viars says:

      You have no idea, Bill. I think the reason I am married to my husband (and for almost 30 years) is partly because my mom told me not to go out with one of those “American Soldiers” (until she said that I had no interest!) … well, and then she said it wasn’t going to work out … be careful what you say to rebels 🙂 (and don’t give them recipes … they NEVER follow them) :-/

  3. Debbie says:

    Oh Heidi, I was right there with you , in thoughts and actions. Thank you for this precious reminder of all He has done for us!

    • Heidi Viars says:

      It is good for people like me to sweat on the side of the road every now and then! Makes me appreciate the Love of God so much more 🙂 Thanks, Debbie for always encouraging me with your kindness! Sending much love your way!

  4. We can never be good enough through our thoughts, our words, our life. Even though we believe we are clean (when doing nothing supposedly wrong in our eyes), there is always hidden sin. Thank you for this wonderful illustration Heidi. God bless you dear sister.

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